Eliza strongly disapproves of human sexytime.

At least, this is what I have come to believe is true, after numerous occasions of her sitting on the corner of the bed, staring at us without blinking, while we try to ignore her and remain in flagrante.

I suspect it is because I am canoodling her man. She loved me before Boyfriend moved in. Now, she merely thinks I am pretty okay, and only because I am the one who feeds her. Boyfriend has become her most prized possession, and she follows him around, flopping on her back to expose her belly for rubs, and giving him the cutest, hugest anime cat eyes ever to be seen.

She has made it clear doesn’t appreciate my compromising his ability to use both hands to pet her at all times. This was reaffirmed this morning, when it was my turn for pets. Seeing we were unfazed by the laser beams she was steadily shooting at us from across the room, she decided to up the game by utilizing one of the most effective tools in the feline arsenal: the diaphragm.

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